Procrastination at its best...

So I'm sitting here supposed to be writing letters and all sorts of other "documents" that I decided I'd come home and finish. I have a massive case of writers block, so what do I sit here and do? Sift through years of old files, my old journal, my old blog etc and waste a good hour, nice.

Anyway, in amongst my old bits and pieces I found a poem I wrote a long time ago. It's from way back when we first started our assisted conception journey. Even though my outlook has changed slightly along the way and our situation has if anything, become worse, I still think the poem is extremely relevant to our circumstance and thought I'd share it again.

It's hard at times throughout this journey;
When faith and hope begin to sway.
It's hard when every road climbs further uphill,
And you're not sure you can face another day.

It's hard to get up and wear a smile,
When you need to scream and cry.
It's hard to explain just how you feel,
When your emotions inside are wry.

It's hard to get up & dust yourself off,
When it risks taking another fall.
It's hard to take the advice, "just relax" or "get away",
When these people don't really understand at all.

It's hard to watch some of your so called friends,
Slip away in front of your eyes,
It's hard to fathom they ever cared,
Although best to know than believe the lies.

It's hard to keep your emotions,C
ooped up inside your head.
It's hard to not let it show you've had no sleep,
But spent the night staring at the roof instead.

It's hard to rely so much,
On the family & friends that have stayed near.
It's hard to know it's affecting them as well,
With every update and result they hear.

It's hard to forget that life is going to be different,
To that vision you had as a ten year old.
But most of all it's hard to come to terms with it all,
This is what it's going to take to get a little bundle to love and hold.

International Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day

Today, October 15, is International Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. Unfortunately it's a day that's close to my heart having lost two precious little miracles in the last few years. Pregnancy Loss is an awful experience that never, ever gets easier. I'm sending all of my thoughts, hugs and thanks to all of the truly inspirational women who have touched my life in ways they'll never know. Without the support of many of these women who have "been there" I wouldn't have gotten through the last four years. Please spare a thought today for all of the women who are hurting with empty arms. xo